Lifeless

Are jellyfish pointless creatures?

Well, they drift around aimlessly in the ocean and it seems that their only purpose is to feed, grow and multiply. So, yes, to me jellyfish are rather pointless.

In contrast, mankind is capable of so much more. With a more complex natural make-up, a functional brain and centuries of cumulative knowledge, we are the only species on the planet that can bring about phenomenal changes. We are by far the most expansive colony, built upon constantly advancing technology and the means to travel even to space. But to the core, we’re still not much different from jellyfish. Strip down all the fancy stuff and we basically still just eat, grow and multiply.

We often come to a quiet point in our lives when we clear our minds and question ourselves about deep stuff like our purpose here on Earth, only to have the hustle and bustle of our daily lives drown it out again. Life at times just seems like a rat race; infinite loops whereby we study till we could work till we eventually pass the torch to our children who will just do the same to theirs. We have countless metaphysical ways of making sense of all of this, but we tend to just adopt simple apathy and carry on with our lives. After centuries of countless debate on the meaning of life, we never seemed to have reached a conclusion and I don’t think we ever would for that matter.

So yeah, I know, just like jellyfish, my life is pretty pointless too.

DFTBA,

Dann’

A Gift of A Friend

True friendship is hard to find nowadays. Being a good friend isn't always easy either, but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is really worth every ounce of effort. As the time passes, some people will stay by your side, but many won't, and you'll realize that each friendship you keep is priceless, it is worth more than anything you could ever imagine, even greater than opening a treasure. Of course, to have a good friend, you must be like one, and it takes a lot of effort in love and care. To be a good friend, you have to establish a trusting friendship, be there for your friend during hard times, and deepen a friendship to make it last. In these 20 years of my life, I have definitely learnt something.  As I grow older every year, I came to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life, and that your old friends are now happy with their new friends. This happens a lot.

I personally think that being a good friend is to be trustworthy. Keeping promises is important. I think that making a promise that you can't keep is immature and sometimes will take a toll out of peoples’ feelings. Don’t ever make it as a habit. If you say you'll hang out with a friend and a legitimate conflict arises, explain the situation and trust that the friendship is strong enough for the noes as well as the yeses. Nobody's perfect, and it's okay if you skip out on a promise once in a blue moon, but don't make it a regular thing. When you make a serious promise, look to your friend in the eyes and speak slowly to show that you really mean it instead of just saying it because you think that you should.

I also learnt that apologizing is crucial when you have made a mistake. If you want your friends to trust you, then you can't act like you are flawless. If you know you have made a mistake, own up to it and admit it instead of being in denial. Though your friends won't be happy that you made a mistake, but they'll be very pleased that you're mature and grounded enough to admit it instead of just pretending that nothing is wrong, or even worse if you are to blame it on someone else. Saying sorry is not difficult. Just put up with it and say it like you mean it. Let your friends hear the sincerity in your voice instead of thinking that you don't really care how they feel. Sometimes, in a situation of life, there comes a time that you have got to shut up, swallow your pride, and accept that you're wrong. It's not giving up, it's called growing up. I apologize if I ever somehow offended anyone reading this, but this is one of the many things that I have truly learnt and gained some decent experiences. It is memorable.

Furthermore, I think that respecting one another is important too. Good friends show respect for each other by being openly and mutually supportive even at their lowest moment. If your friend has certain values and beliefs that don't align with your own, respect his or her choices and be open to hearing more about them. If you want your friend to trust you, then your friend should feel comfortable voicing opinions that you may or may not agree with, or discussing a new perspective with you. If your friend thinks that you'll shoot down any interesting or original idea that he or she may have, then your friendship won't be valued. Sometimes your friend will say things that you may find boring, uncomfortable or annoying, but if you have respect for your friend, you'll give your friend the space to speak, and to do so without judgment. During times when you don't see eye to eye with your friend, disagree respectfully and be willing to see things differently.

To conclude this, the above are the few points that I have learnt from him. I have truly learnt a lot from my friend Victor Chen. I cannot thank God enough for him being in a part of my life. Although we have our differences in many ways but I think that differences are what make great friends. Plus, it can get irritating and they probably won't trust your word. He was there in the beginning till now when I have my struggles to face. He’ll be supporting me when I am at my lowest. He is such an incredible person, beautiful inside and out. Above are the few points that I have learnt from him. I pray that he knows I will do the same for him and I will be there for him as well. I will be there when everyone else turns their back. I will be there for him till the end of time. I don’t walk ahead of him to lead him neither do I protect him from behind like a shadow. I am beside him, every second fighting with him till my very last breath.

Love you bro.

DFTBA,

Dann’

A Little Too Not Over You

Twenty years ago, I came bounding into a world of love and laughter. I was the last child, the last grandchild, the last nephew, and the primary focus of my entire extended family since I'm the youngest on my father's side of the family. My parents were young and energetic and had every good intention for their new baby boy. I grew up with opportunities for intellectual and spiritual growth, secure in the knowledge that I was loved, free from fear, and confident that my world was close to perfection. And I was the center of a world that had meaning only in terms of its effects on me.... what I could see from a height of three feet and what I could comprehend with the intellect and emotions of a child. This state of innocence persisted through my early teens, but changed dramatically in the spring of my years of high school. My beloved uncle was dying of AIDS.

From the moment my parents told me, I confronted emotions and issues that probably many adults have never faced. Death of a relative, and AIDS specifically, forced my view of the world and my life to take a dramatic turn. I do not know how he got it but the sickness itself has done a good job in making my emotions overwhelmed with deep sadness. However, in this case I did not have the benefit of time to understand my uncle's illness since he decided not to tell me until he had developed full-grown AIDS. My role in the relationship was suddenly reversed, because he used to take care of me when my parents were struggling to handle four childrens at that time.

Where I had once been the favourite or the closest to my uncle, I was now the parent to him. By the summer of my junior year, I had rearranged the structure of my life... as my uncle's illness progressed and he became increasingly incapacitated, he depended on me a great deal. By the way, he was single and never ready to mingle. He prefered to live alone and that's why our relationship were very close. My parents were there to help to repay the depts.

s and I took him to the hospital where he received blood transfusions or some sort of therapy to treat the lymphoma that was destroying his body. After school, I raced home to complete my homework so that I could later go to his apartment. There, my parents and I cooked meals, cleaned up, and administered his oral and intravenous medications. Working with IVs became second nature to me. I found myself familiar with the names of drugs like Cytovene, used to treat CMV, Neupogen, to raise one's white blood cell count, and literally countless others. I came home each night after midnight, yet the fatigue I felt hardly touched me; I was no longer seeing through my own eyes, but through my uncle's. I felt his pain when he was too sick to get out of bed. And I felt hurt for him when people stared at his bald head, a result of some sort of therapy, or the pencil-thin legs that held up his 6'1" frame. I saw the end he was facing, the gradual debilitation the disease caused, the disappointment he endured when people were cruel and the joy he experienced when others were kind. I saw his fear, and it entered my life.

My uncle died on 28th July 2009.

In the last year of his life, I was given the greatest gift I will ever receive... the gift of deep experience. I am now able to recognize the adversity that accompanies any good in life. My uncle taught me about loyalty, love and strength. But most importantly, he gave me the opportunity to see through his eyes, triggering a compassion in me and a sense of responsibility to those I love and the world around me that I might not have otherwise discovered. I cannot thank him enough for that.

Not a day will ever go by when I won't miss my uncle, but I am so grateful for the blessing of his life to mine. And because of this blessing, I have a girlfriend now. She has taught me unconditional love and to look in different perspectives like my uncle. I also realize that in relationships now, that it doesn't matter whether or not that person is truly a misfit or not-the-perfect one, the only important thing is the feeling, the closeness, the connection. As long as there is something between two people like friendship, love, shared interests, whatever else... it is a sign that there can be some reconciliation with fear or struggle, some "fit" for misfits. And it shows that fear and struggle need not always win, that we can grow and change, and even have second chances.

With this compassion and experience comes an even greater responsibility. Luke 12:48 tell us "To whom much is given, of him will much be required." As I move forward in my life, it is my hope that I can begin to see other people from two vantage points... theirs and mine. By doing this, I will begin to understand that with my every position or emotion there may be someone else standing at an equally valid, yet possibly opposite point. And that life, for them, has a different hue. I can still tell you that I, still misses him. Typing this out was never easy. But above all else, I am dedicating this blog post to him.

 I love you Uncle. Always will and never will not.

DFTBA,

Dann'

The Fault In Our Stars

What do you see when you look up to a clear night sky? A cluster of stars! The title of this post is not about the romance fiction book written by John Green, instead is a memory. I remember one night when I was very young, and I clutched my mother's hand tightly as we walked out into the dark night. I recall that it was long after my bedtime as the clock chimed nine o'clock. I was wearing my favourite Pokemon slippers and matching pajamas, and my free hand desperately clung to my boaster. We sat down in the back lawn together and she effortlessly picked me up and seated me gently on her lap. I noticed everything on the earth around me… the ant hill, the dandelions, and even the faint outlines of the tree trunks. She leaned her head forward when she whispered softly in my ear to look up. That was the first time I ever really noticed the stars. I remember being overwhelmed. I could not possibly count all the glittering sparkles that illuminated the heavens and glistened softly next to the moon. At that moment I tried to reach out and grasp one, but my arms were not long enough so I asked my mother. I begged her for just one for my birthday. She chuckled, I could not get her to promise.

"Aim for the moon, Dannie, because even if you miss it you'll end up amongst the stars." I did not understand exactly what she meant. Did she think that I was going to throw something at the moon? Although, since that night I have come to cherish this moment. Amongst the aggravation and mishaps of the day-to-day life, we have never stopped to appreciate the little things. We strive to achieve our goals, but by working so hard to achieve them, we become blind to the beauty in the world around us. It is important to work hard and have a dream to strive for, although we often fail to see that, it is not always a big disaster to fall short of our goals. The moon may be the first thing we notice when we gaze into the night sky, but the stars shine just as brightly and project as much light too. They are always together, side-by-side, never leaving each other’s sight. Just like my mother and me when I was young.

Since that night, I have outgrown my Pokemon slippers and my boaster has gone. My mother still teases me on my birthday with cards that have stars, amused by my naive desire that she could really reach into the sky and grasp a star for me. Seriously I draw back my curtains and gaze up upon the heavens. They appear more beautiful each night, and I often wonder if I am the only one gazing upon one particular star at that very moment. Each night as I stare, I realize that each one of us is like the stars, and each plays an integral role in creating the solar system. Each one of us shines brightly because of our unique talents, but it is when we come together that we light up the black night. How awesome is that.

Just for a moment tonight, look up with an open heart and gaze with a child's awed stare. Perhaps you'll wonder if they have always been there, unwavering, and shining proudly. Reach out and try to grasp one, and if you do not, never give up trying. Remember that "We all shine on, like the moon and the stars and the sun." - John Lennon.

DFTBA,

Dann'