Plant Your Own Soul

I want to talk about the food revolution we experienced after watching those documentaries and cooking shows, but I just haven't quite had time to formulate my thoughts yet. I can say, though, that said "revolution" invoked a desire to grow our family own food (or, more accurately, our stupidly high grocery bills have done the invoking), and we have now started our very first backyard garden. We don't really know what we're doing and so we're crossing our fingers we don't kill everything we've planted, but so far it's been a really fun thing to do together and we are so excited to eat food that we grow from babies and feel more of a connection to. We've really, really enjoyed some of the trips we've made so far which includes IKEA, Jusco, some other plant stalls by the road side. Everyone is so helpful and the plants are actually cheaper than those in KL area.  I am falling more and more in love with plants and gardening and all things pure and given to us by the earth. We all really need to rekindle our connection with our planet, and I think for us, my family, it's starting with reconnecting to the food we eat. So far it's been a nice journey and experience for me and my family. Not that being part of a trend is ever a good reason to start or learn something new, but if it helps us to move forward by being part of the “in” crowd, then we really need to plant our own edible garden this year. Besides, thinking ahead in the future, I can actually teach my children or grandchildren where their food actually comes from and that it doesn’t come from the supermarket but from the soil, the earth that we all depend on.

The Candy Crush

I had a crush on a girl who was like the most perfect life partner I could ever have in my life. It was so sweet to think of her all the time with infatuations on our possible future courtship and all the romantic moments that we would have.  The crushing feelings were energetic and reviving that I was unable to sleep or dreamed of her even when I was in slumber.

Only when I think deeply, I find myself falling for her with a lot of selfish intentions. I always observed and perceived to whether she is the right person for me. I evaluated on her strengths and weaknesses and see how can her satisfy me as my girlfriend. The main purpose of starting a relationship was never a bridge towards marriage. It was more like a dream dating game which is often portrayed through Korean dramas and many others around me. I felt so ‘syok’ to chat and spend time with her, thus I kept messaging her without considering would it disturb her.

What should a courtship really be? It struck me to think of the true purpose of a boy-girl relationship. Marriage should be the goal of a courtship as it rounds up the true purpose of it. Thinking of it, it is about commitment. I should think of whether I can commit before approaching the girl that I like. Can I really love her with all my heart? Am I a suitable guy for her? Will I build her up or bring her down?

It is painful to think of how unstable I am now without a well-established faith and income. When I cannot even take good care of myself surely, how am I going to take care of her? I cry knowing that I have to let her go at the present time for her best. She needs not a boyfriend now, but friends who can encourage her in life, studies and faith. Thus, although it is heart-breaking, I have to stop the clock and crush the candy of romance and take up the candy of a friend.

Crushing my heart temporarily is better than crushing her heart for a long term. Love makes me learn to wait patiently and care more for the sweetness of someone’s future. Through this, I learn that it is always sweeter to give out the candy rather than putting them into my own mouth.